Alternative Oscar Categories 2014

Whether you find them joyous or soul-destroying, I'm sure everyone on the planet can agree: The Academy Awards are Kind of a Big Deal. There's just a few hours to go to see if the Academy will inevitably mess up and give out the wrong awards to the wrong people, but in these tense moments, we should relax, unwind, and just accept that everyone in Hollywood is rich and powerful and we are not therefore there is nothing we can do. Instead, while you're praying for 12 Years to luck out or crossing your fingers for Gravity, you can regale yourself with some of the categories that we think the Academy should consider adding to their ceremony, and their very deserving winners.

Best Hair

Lea Seydoux - Blue is the Warmest Colour

Javier Bardem - The Counsellor

The Cast of Anchorman 2

Amy Adams - American Hustle

I spent the whole of American Hustle mesmerised by Amy Adams's curves. And no, perverts, I'm not talking about her T and A here, I'm talking about the perfect curl of her ringlets. Seriously, her hair in this film is how I dream my hair will look when I get out of bed every day. (Instead, I end up looking more like Christian Bale, minus being balding with bits of fluff glued to my head) Adams's hairstyles in the film vary from soft waves to the volcanic eruption of curls pictured above, and pulls each of them off with ease. 

GBP

Best Inappropriate Relationship

Mia Wasikowska & Matthew Goode – Stoker

Jonah Hill & his cousin – The Wolf of Wall Street 

Benedict Cumberbatch & Julianne Nicholson – August: Osage County

2013 was the year of a lot of incestuous relationships in film, a worrying amount in fact. In Stoker it’s creepy; in The Wolf of Wall Street it’s funny and in August: Osage County it’s just plain sad. But, let’s face it guys Benedict Cumberbatch looks inbred-y anyway so the big twist *SPOILERS* that he’s actually been shagging his sister isn’t that shocking but we’ll award him it anyway.

BJ

Best Soundtrack

Her

Only Lovers Left Alive

Drinking Buddies

Frances Ha

Inside Llewyn Davis

It's a draw! The soundtracks for the new Coens and Baumbach films are so different, and yet both so perfect. With Inside Llewyn Davis, the soundtrack is a core part of the film. Without it, it would just be a sad film about a man and a cat. The music of this film - actually performed by its cast by the way, which adds another reason to a very long list of why Oscar Isaac is the best person ever - is glorious, and also helps give the characters an extra level of depth. Plus Oscar Isaac has like, the dreamiest voice ever. PLUS ADAM DRIVER AND JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE DO A SONG AND IT IS PERFECT.

Moving on to Frances Ha - which coincidentally, also stars Adam Driver - which has a more mixtape-like approach when it comes to its soundtrack. Just like ILD, music is crucial to the film, and not just any music, but music from other films. Baumbach was inspired by the French New Wave when he made the film, hence why he uses the infamous music from The 400 Blows in the film. And in one of the greatest scenes in the film, Frances skips and twirls across the street to David Bowie's Modern Love - a cheeky and accidental reference to Leos Carax's weird and wonderful Mauvais Sang. It also features Hot Chocolate's second finest song, played oddly enough during a montage of Greta Gerwig loafing around Paris.
GBP

Best McConaughey 

Matthew McConaughey – Mud

Matthew McConaughey – The Paperboy 

Matthew McConaughey – Dallas Buyers Club

Matthew McConaughey – The Wolf of Wall Street 

What a year for Matthew McConaughey. Once the go-to lead for rom-coms, he’s now the front runner for Best Actor tonight. Although it’s not the film he’s nominated for, his improvised chest pumping scene from the Wolf of Wall Street is one of the most memorable of the year. It’s also his own personal relaxation technique that he does before scenes and he has even said he’ll probably be doing it tonight on the way to the Oscars. 

BJ

Best Actor Not Nominated

Oscar Isaac - Inside Llewyn Davis

Ethan Hawke - Before Midnight

James Mccavoy - Filth

Sam Rockwell - The Way, Way Back (and like everything he's ever been in EVER)
Joaquin Phoenix - Her

The fact that Joaquin Phoenix wasn't even nominated for his modest, quiet turn in Her this year is completely beguiling. Even in years where he was pretty much guaranteed to lose - such as last year for The Master up against Daniel Day-Lewis - he at least garnered a nomination, but this year, The Academy just chose to ignore him. This could be in part due to the fact that he pretty much said he doesn't give a shit about the Oscars, or partly due to the strong contenders already in that category. Nevertheless, his performance is as usual, pretty damn flawless in a film that I do not mind pointing out has a fair few flaws. It's easy to forget how a Joaquin Phoenix can be simultaneously funny and heartbreaking, subtle and powerhouse, but luckily he's here to remind you just how good he can be.

GBP

Best Actress Not Nominated

Paulina Garcia - Gloria

Greta Gerwig - Frances Ha

Julie Delpy - Before Midnight

Adele Exarchopoulos - Blue is the Warmest Colour

Brie Larson - Short Term 12

Short Term 12 basically doesn't exist in Academy terms, as it managed to gain an impressive amount of... ZERO nominations, however for a little indie film it's really great, and manages to be absolutely devastating without falling into cliched melodrama territory too much. Like Phoenix, Brie Larson manages to keep her performance low-key, and it's only towards the end of the film that we actually find out what's going on in her head. Were she nominated for an award, or had she gone on to win one, this could easily have been the type of performance that could've turned Larson's career into something incredible. Sadly it looks like we'll have to wait a few years for her inevitable award-winning film.

GBP

Worst Accent

Shia LeBeouf

I haven't even seen Nymphomaniac yet but just judging by this clip from the film's trailer, we have a winner! Yikes. Nothing is gonna beat this.

GBP

Best Facial Hair

Joaquin Phoenix - Her

Michael Fassbender - 12 Years a Slave

Oscar Isaac - Inside Llewyn Davis

James Mccavoy - Filth

George Clooney - The Monuments Men

Precise, defined, sophisticated - Clooney's moustache is pretty much everything that his film sadly wasn't. Compared to Fassbender, Mcavoy and Isaac's wonderful array of beards, (extra kudos must go to Mcavoy for the brown hair/ginger beard combo) this moustache isn't extravagant. It doesn't want to draw attention to itself, and it doesn't need to - just look whose face it's sitting on. I bet it took you a while to even realise Clooney had a moustache in that photo because you were too busy swooning.

GBP

Best Performance in a Bad Film

Dane Dehaan - Kill Your Darlings

Gaby Hoffman - Crystal Fairy and the Magical Cactus

Bradley Cooper - American Hustle

Kristen Scott-Thomas - Only God Forgives

Cate Blanchett - Blue Jasmine

Otherwise known as the "being slightly controversial just because it's Awards season and I'm bored" award. I'm SORRY but I personally didn't think much of any of these films, and while I've picked out Blue Jasmine as the winner of this award, it certainly isn't the worst of the bunch. In fact, Cate Blanchett's superb performance in it almost tricks you into thinking it's wonderful - it's only afterwards that you realise it left a slightly bad aftertaste in your mouth. Cate Blanchett is wonderful because she's a heavy drinking neurotic mess, which is pretty much everything you would imagine Cate Blanchett isn't. I would be more than happy for her to receive the Oscar for this performance... it's just a shame that it has to be for this film. (Also, because I'm sure people will confused about this - Bradley Cooper is on the list because I thought he was really surprisingly good in American Hustle? Maybe it's because I find him a little too convincing when he's playing absolutely pathetic slimeballs....)
GBP

Best Effort

Leonardo DiCaprio -  The Great Gatsby

Oh poor Leo. I’m sure he thought that playing the lead role in an adaption of a classic was sure to be the one. Too bad the release date got moved from last award season to summer blockbuster season. And so, for second year running our pal, Leo takes the award for Best Effort.

BJ

Worst Effort

Leonardo DiCaprio – The Wolf of Wall Street

Real talk here: do you really believe that playing a drug taking, rich, partying, generally corrupt, shagging dickhead is a stretch for Leo? COME ON! All he does is shag young models and play about on his yachts! Him and his friends even named themselves the Pussy Posse! 

BJ

Best Overlooked Film

Before Midnight

Short Term 12

Blue is the Warmest Color

Inside Llewyn Davis

Were I a Harvey Weinstein-like figure in Hollywood, (A girl can dream I guess) Inside Llewyn Davis would definitely be the film that I would be plugging during Awards season. Really, the fact that I have anything left to say about it after ranting and raving on social networks and to my peers astounds me. But it is just so good, a quiet little gem of a film that sadly justifies the fact that it was snubbed at the Oscars purely because it's about a guy who's pretty much walked out of Beck's much beloved 1994 classic. The soundtrack, beards and performances I have already briefly mentioned, but there are so many other elements that go towards making this such a great film, cinematography and art direction being just two of them. (Also, Adam Driver. Singing Cowboy. Just gonna keep pressing that.) I saw it three times in the cinema - the first time I liked it, the second I loved it, and the third I adored it. Every time I watched it, I found something else in it that I'd never noticed before, and I can't help but think that maybe the Academy skipped the rewatch (probably due to the length of Wolf of Wall Street?!) and took it at face value.

GBP

Grace Barber-Plentie and Beth Johnston

Film and Feminism: January Edition

There are two things that I am able to get well and truly passionate about, and have the ability to rant about for hours - film and feminism. Because of this, I've decided to bring the two together to provide a round-up of each month's key film releases, providing a handy summary for those people who are interested in how women are portrayed in cinema in 2014. Does it pass the Bechdel Test? Is it out and out feminist? Find out here.

January was a simply brilliant month of cinema, leading to an even better year if we're lucky. We've seen new releases from some of the true giants and geniuses of cinema, such as Scorsese and the Coen Brothers, and new kids on the block like Steve Mcqueen. There were a lot of films covering race and masculinity out last month, but how have the females fared? 

American Hustle - 1st January

What's it about?

A Scorsese-esque tale of a group of con artists trying to survive by hustling both their hapless victims and each other. Check out our review here.

Decent Female Characters?

Yep. Thought it's easy for them both to have been broad stereotypes - the mad wife and the sultry mistress - both Adams and Lawrence's characters have moments of humour, sadness, and downright awfulness. Just like the men in the film, they're never just "good" or "bad", making them interesting, well-rounded characters. 

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

Yes. Lawrence and Adams's characters talk to each other, (and um, have a quick kiss) though this is mainly about a man, and Lawrence has a conversation with a politician's wife about nail varnish and weird smelling perfume.  

Worth seeing?

Depends if you want to see Scorsese-lite or the real thing - if it's the latter, see Wolf of Wall Street instead. The female characters here are good, just be prepared to see about as many leery shots of their breasts and bums are you do their faces.  However the film looks amazing - even if everything good about it is style over substance.

12 Years a Slave - 10th January

What's it about?

Yet another true story of horrifying discrimination based on race. Freed man Solomon Northup is tricked and sold into slavery for 12 years. 

Decent Female Characters?

Absolutely. While all the male characters in the film are interesting and brilliantly acted, one name and character stands out from the rest - Lupita Nyong'o's Patsey. Played with such force and passion that the film's director Steve McQueen thanked her for being born and Michael Fassbender described her as his "peer", Patsey is one of the most sympathetic and interesting characters of the year. And though their roles are smaller, Adepero Oduye and Sarah Paulson also deliver wonderful performances as a slave whose children are taken away from her and a hardened wife of Fassbender's sadistic slave-owner.

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

Yes. There are various conversations between slaves and their mistresses, none of them particularly pleasant, mind you.

Worth seeing?

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees. 12 Years is one, if not the most important films of the year, depending on how awards season goes. While the film's focus is of course on the main character of Solomon, as previously mentioned, the female characters in this film are rich, interesting and heartbreaking. And even if you're not fussed about the plight of the women in this film, it's still a must-see, a wonderful horrible and most importantly much needed film about race and slavery.

The Wolf of Wall Street - 17th January

What's it about?

The rise and fall of real-life Wall Street stockbroker Jordan Belfort, as he goes from a nobody in Queens to a life of excess, only to find it all coming crashing down.

Decent Female Characters?

This is one of two films seen solely through the eyes of its protagonist, (see Inside Llewyn Davis, below) so the way that we see women is the way that Jordan sees them. Therefore, all the female characters in this film are rubbish. There's potential with both of Jordan's wives, his secretary and another woman at his work, but all of these women just turn into rushed caricatures. And let's not even get started on how every female character is presented in the film - if you thought the way Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence were filmed in American Hustle was gratuitous, you'll have a heart attack watching this.

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

Surprisingly yes. Jordan's trophy wife, Naomi has conversations with her friend Hildy about her aunt's death, and with the maid to make sure her child is okay.

Worth seeing?

I personally was VERY disappointed with the film, which I had been looking forward to for months, but I know a lot of people disagree with me. If you're a Scorsese or DiCaprio fan, you're definitely going to want to see it. It's the sort of film that, regardless of whether you actually want to see it, you'll end up going to just to see what all the hype was about. 

August: Osage County - 24th January

What's it about?

After the patriarch of the Weston family disappears, his daughters gather from across the country to look after their sick, chain-smoking, foul-mouthed mother. Needless to say, things do not go well. 

Decent Female Characters?

It totally depends on your definition of "decent".  Strong, noble female characters? Nope. Shrieking, sad, messed-up, pill popping opinionated women of all ages? You bet. This is a rare film where female characters are allowed to just as flawed and messed up as their male counterparts - more so in fact in this film, as the men of this film are relatively more together than the women - and it's a joy to behold.

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

100 percent. The Weston women do talk about men and relationships a lot, but they also talk about a variety of others topics too.

Worth seeing?

The film as a whole is average, one of those that feels very static and long, which is understandable considering that it has been adapted from a play. But as I've said before, it is wonderful to see such a variety of female characters, and in all honesty, anything with Meryl Streep in is always going to be at least a little bit watchable.

Inside Llewyn Davis - 24th January

What's it about?

The film follows musician and general sad-sack Llewyn Davis through New York and beyond as he attempts to make a name for himself, return his friends cat to them, and find a couch to sleep on. 

Decent Female Characters?

Tough one. Coen Brothers films, Fargo aside, tend to have male main characters with supporting female characters who range from very good (see Raising Arizona, True Grit, The Hudsucker Proxy, Intolerable Cruelty) to a bit stereotypical or whiny. (see O Brother, Where Art Thou? and The Big Lebowski) This is the case here. As the title suggests, the film is all about the inner world of Llewyn Davis, and therefore we see women the way he sees them - shrewd, mean, and trying to stop him achieving his goals. Carey Mulligan's Jean is kind of a one-note character, but the way that she's played suggests there's something more going on within her.

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

No. Though Llewyn interacts with several women, this is always through one to one conversations or in the presence of other men.

Worth seeing?

For a cinema-goer? Yes, absolutely. The Coens almost always get it right, particularly their period dramas, and Llewyn Davis really is up there in their best films. If you're looking for a piece of cinema with female characters? It's still worth it just for Carey Mulligan's rants, but you may be a little disappointed.

Grace Barber-Plentie

The 71st Golden Globe Awards: A Recap

Well, here we are at the first stop of awards season and easily the most entertaining show of them all – mainly because they cut out all the boring sound/editing awards. As Amy Poehler put it “Only at the Golden Globes do the beautiful people of film rub shoulders with the rat faced people of television”. So, if you weren’t cool/pathetic enough to stay up for the Golden Globes on Sunday night, read our quick recap to bring you up to speed.

(Disclaimer: the views and bitchiness below are entirely my own but are the truth so, like, whatever)

The Dresses

This may be a film blog but half the fun of awards season is bitching about the dresses (or weird backwards dressing gowns and leggings if you’re Emma Watson).

Best Dressed: LUPITA NYONG’O. 

She is just a perfect queen and that is a perfect cape and I hope she wins everything. 

Worst Dressed: JENNIFER LAWRENCE. 

I hope her contract ends with Dior because they keep sending these ugly dresses and it’s just not fair. I mean, she’s won an Oscar and could be on her way to winning her second (though hopefully not) and this is the best they can give her??

The Presenters

It’s Amy Poehler and Tina Fey and they took swipes as George Clooney, Taylor Swift, Leo and Martin Scorsese: that should say it all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NT3uNSZpK7c

The Winners

You can find a full list of the winners anywhere so instead let’s focus on the big important ones.

Best Motion Picture (Drama): 12 YEARS A SLAVE (yes yes yes)

Best Motion Picture (Comedy/Musical): AMERICAN HUSTLE (nope nope nope)

Best Director: ALFONSO CUARON (yeah)

Best Actress (Drama): CATE BLANCHETT (yes yes yes)

Best Actress (Comedy/Musical): AMY ADAMS (fine ok whatever)

Best Actor (Drama): MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY (yeah fine whatever)

Best Actor (Comedy/Musical): LEONARDO DICAPRIO (FINALLY!!!!!)

Best Supporting Actress: JENNIFER LAWRENCE (ha Ha HA ok)

Best Supporting Actor: JARED LETO (ok?)

So there’s a three hour show condensed into less than 400 words (and luckily for you, we left out the bit where they honoured a child molester). With the Golden Globes done and dusted, I hope you continue to join us for more snarkiness, bitching and, obviously, serious insights throughout this year’s awards season. 

Beth Johnston

Review: American Hustle

The chemistry between Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper was cemented in our minds after David O’Russell’s Silver Linings Playbook and the thought of all three working on the same project again brought a certain kind of anticipation. However, in American Hustle, a love letter to Martin Scorcese and Paul Thomas Anderson’s work that’s less than poetic - the pair’s equally corruptible lives barely intertwine. The film has a certain surface sheen to it –even if its plot is not completely uncovered and its character development rushed, everything looks great. Despite being nearly two and a half hours, we’re nowhere close to figuring out the bigger picture and perhaps that’s the point in a movie that deals with backdoor deals and government scandals – only a small amount of knowledge is imparted to us about these events in real life. Whilst the deals are the biggest part of the film, the love triangle centring on Irving Rosenfeld (Christian Bale), Sydney Prosser (Amy Adams) and Rosalyn Rosenfeld (Jennifer Lawrence) is the real draw.

With captivating and impressive performances from all three, Bale and Adams look mild and meek once Lawrence struts onto the screen. Adams’ character Sydney, Irving’s lover, spends most of the film keeping up appearances and trying to make her fake identity as Lady Edith convincing with the distraction of an impressive amount of sideboob. Rosalyn, Irving’s wife, however is the exact opposite of Sydney, a nail polish enthusiast who’s an accidental pyromaniac and the life of the party. Undoubtedly the star performance, Lawrence puts every inch of her personality into the role. A particularly great moment is Rosalyn drunkenly scrubbing at her counters furiously whilst doing a passionate rendition of Live and Let Die.

But her honesty and tendency to pry in situations that don’t add up make her the potential downfall of all of Sydney and Irving’s schemes. Having already been caught preying on unfortunate souls by FBI agent Richie DiMaso (Bradley Cooper), he makes a  deal that will let them get off free but not before dragging them deeper into their own lies first. Cooper has already played the good authoritative figure gone corrupt in last year’s The Place Beyond The Pines and in both instances; it doesn’t work out so well for his character. Unaware to the depth to which Irving and Sydney (known to him primarily as Lady Edith)’s lies extend, DiMaso is helplessly sucked into their whirlpool of scams and trickery and doesn’t even realise the joke’s on him.

Something that is common throughout American Hustle is the naivety of the majority of its characters. Whether it is for love or money, the charm that oozes out of the pores of these people has a hold on them and they find themselves getting into a lot more trouble than expected. Charm and surface detail dominate the film - the elaborate outfits, coiffed hair and dazzling personalities put in the place of a substantial plotline. There are some captivating scenes within the film but they’re positioned next to needlessly long stretches of dialogue that could have done with a touch of editing. American Hustle may have all the gloss and appearances for award nominations in Oscar season, including an extremely brief cameo from Robert DeNiro, but it feels as if it’s striving for that exact goal too much and cutting corners in what could have been a much more developed film.

Aurora Mitchell