The Secret History - Donna Tartt
What's it about:
Lonely working-class boy Richard falls in with the well off and eccentric classmates of his Greek class, but soon finds that they are hiding some dark secrets which threaten to tear them all apart.
Why it should be a film:
I can't get the imagery out of my head! Certain moments from the book - one significant event in particular that would ruin the book's plot to go into in detail - have stuck in my mind ever since I read it for the first time. It would be a college film but one completely different from the debouched activities of Bad Neighbours or Rules of Attraction - (fun fact: the characters from Rules of Attraction have brief cameos in Secret History and vice versa as Brett Easton Ellis and Donna Tartt went to college together) it would be more ethereally beautiful yet oddly sinister like the Virgin Suicides but with the bourgeois/obnoxious charm of something like Damsels in Distress.
Who should star:
He's getting on a lil bit now but Andrew Garfield would be perfect as Richard due to his talent for playing slightly bland and angsty outsiders. The object of Richard's affections, Camilla is said to have an angelic beauty, so who better than actual real life angel Julia Garner from Electrick Children to play her?
Orpheus Rising - Colin Bateman
What it's about:
After his wife dies in a violent massacre, acclaimed and reclusive author Michael Ryan is forced to revisit the town where it happened for the 10th anniversary memorial. But he soon finds himself caught up in a story that transcends life, death, right and wrong, and reunites him with some faces from his past.
Why it should be a film:
I only read this book because the cover looked vaguely interesting and the word Orpheus immediately appealed to my Greek myth-loving self, and I'm constantly glad that I did. It's an odd little book - everyone that I've recommended it to has disliked it - because it covers so many genres in its pages. Put in the right hands, it could be a tight thriller, a love story, a mystery… or even better, a combination of all three and more that really do the words justice.
Who should star:
Michael hails originally from Ireland so, erm… hi Michael Fassbender. As we all know, the man can do little wrong when it comes to acting, so playing a tormented quasi-alcoholic should be easy of him.
Generation X - Douglas Coupland
What it's about:
This is a book that's about everything and also nothing. Despondent Gen X-ers Andy, Claire and Dag have escaped their "McJobs" and moved to the desert, living a simple life of booze, picnics, and storytelling. And that's basically it.
Why it should be a film:
For some reason, none of Coupland's books have ever been adapted - whether this is because their considered unfilmable or because he won't give his permission for them to be made is a mystery to me. It's understandable that someone could easily come along and ruin the genius of Generation X, but it is simply too brilliant never to be filmed. Coupland goes into such details with every aspect of his characters lives - what they look like, talk like, dress life, what they drink, what kind of stories they tell - and I need to see this on the screen!
Who should star:
Okay so this is actually a really tricky one. Ezra Miller has that mad eccentric vibe down so could be good for Dag, but the rest of the cast is a mystery. What I do know is that Gregg Araki should direct - it's full of apocalyptic doom like most of his best films after all.
Miss Misery - Andy Greenwald
What it's about:
A bored New York hipster faces a lonely summer stalking other people's blogs (this book was pre Blogspot/Tumblr so Greenwald was definitely onto something) after his girlfriend leaves to work in Europe. In order to make himself seem cool and to woo his online flame, the titular Miss Misery, he creates a "cool" blog version of himself - only to find that this doppelgänger is real and has decided to wreak havoc in his life.
Why it should be a film:
A quote on the cover describes it as "Fight Club for hipsters", and that pretty much nails it. There have been a lot of films about doubles out recently, so why not continue the trend? It also contains a vaguely cautionary note about the "dangers" of spending too much time on the internet - you'll create a coke-sniffing douchebag DJ doppelgänger who'll try to ruin your life. It's a little tongue in cheek but there's definitely a lesson in there somewhere! Another good point about the book that will translate perfectly to the screen is its obsession with music. Every song that plays in the book is noted (Check out a full list here) so it would have a killer soundtrack.
Who should star:
This may just be because I'm thinking about people that have played doubles already, but Sam Rockwell is so perfect at being charming buffoons AND sleazy guys that he could nail the double role with ease. Plus, the world needs more Sam Rockwell films.
Bad Kitty - Michele Jaffe
What it's about:
Amateur sleuth unintentionally uncovers a dark mystery when she attempts to help a little boy and a cat out whilst on holiday in Vegas. Throw in her friends, country music, a pimped-out modern day Mystery Machine, a love interest and a roller disco, and you've got the new Nancy Drew.
Why it should be a film:
Firstly can I just say that people are always moaning that there are no YA books/films with people of colour as the main characters, (and yes, they are definitely onto something…) but here's an excellent one with a mixed-race, curly haired protagonist that seems to be criminally under acknowledged. The rest of the books on this list are aimed at "adults", but done properly, this could easily be a film that transcends age barriers like Mean Girls, Heathers and Clueless. Also, I haven't read it for a while, but every time I do, I still seem to find myself laughing out loud at it. Always a good sign.
Who should star:
Belle actress Gugu Mbatha-Raw for main character Jas, and Anton Yelchin, Emma Stone (is Emma Stone too old to be playing teenagers yet?!) and Juno Temple for her friends Tom, Polly and Roxy.
Black Hole - Charles Burns
What it's about:
In the 70s, the teens in a small American town all begin to develop mutations after catching a sexually transmitted disease.
Why it should be a film:
Comic book films - and not just those about superheroes - seem to work! Just look at Ghostworld! Black Hole could definitely have the same off-kilter quirky vibe that Ghostworld has, or could even be shot in black and white animation just like Persepolis. It manages to perfectly convey teen angst through just pictures and a few words, so think how well it could work on the screen.
Who should star:
Shailene Woodley would be perfect as the main character of Chris and I'm sure there's a part for Miles Teller in there somewhere… am I just listing the cast of The Spectacular Now? Um yeah probably.
Meridian - Alice Walker
What it's about:
The trials and tribulations of Meridian Hill, a young woman who abandons her child to become a Civil Rights activist, and then abandons her movement to find a more peaceful way to challenge authority.
Why it should be a film:
Can you believe that only one Alice Walker book has been turned into a film? And the end result, The Color Purple, was… let's just say interesting. But if this were done respectfully and with dedication to the source material, (can Steve McQueen direct it please?) then this could be a beautiful film. Like anything Walker writes, it's striking and deeply moving but also at times full of life and funny, and offers a unique look at the Civil Rights movement from the viewpoint of not just black but also white people involved in the movement.
Who should star:
Lupita Nyong'o, please and thank you.
The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets - Eva Rice
What it's about:
Penelope lives in a crumbling castle with her "tragically beautiful" mother and wannabe rock n roll star brother. When she meets the enigmatic Charlotte and her mysterious magician cousin, her world seems ready to change.
Why it should be a film:
So yeah, this book is essentially a clone of I Capture the Castle set a few years later, but what's wrong with that? It's charming, sweet and funny, and period pieces are always fun. As this one's set in the 50s it would have a great soundtrack - Penelope and her friend Charlotte are obsessed with Johnny Ray, and Penelope's brother wants to be the new Elvis.
Who should star:
Well I was going to say that Carey Mulligan and Ben Whishaw should have the roles of Penelope and the errant magician Harry, but I got the shock of my life when I discovered that they're nearing/well into their 30s. Maybe unknown actors all round?
All My Friends are Superheroes - Andrew Kaufman
What it's about:
Everyone in Tom's life is a superhero apart from him. On the eve of his wedding to the Perfectionist, (whose power is to make every situation in her life perfect) her ex, Hypno, hypnotises her so that she thinks that Tom is invisible. She decides to move away, and Tom has until the end of her plane journey to start a new perfect life to make her see him again.
Why it should be a film:
It's so weird and cute and quirky, basically the sort of stuff Michel Gondry and Spike Jonze live for! (ironically, the book's written by Andrew Kaufman, who, whilst sharing his name, is not the scriptwriter who's worked with Gondry and Jonze) It'd be nice to have a superhero film that's not epic and action filled like most Marvel films, and not gross and sexist like the Kick-Ass franchise. All the superheroes in this book are normal people with normal lives… they just happen to have powers too. Plus the powers that the superheroes in this book have are so weird and unique, such as TV girl, a girl who cries TV sets.
Who should star:
Jesse Eisenberg is pretty good at the slightly irritating everyman roles, and Brie Larson really needs to be in all the films ever, so she'd make a pretty good perfectionist.
Damned - Chuck Palahniuk
What it's about:
13 year old Maddy, daughter of rich and famous actors, wakes up in hell after dying from a "marijuana overdose". After forming a Breakfast Club-like motley crue of a geek, a cheerleader, a rocker and a jock, she decides to conquer the underworld and take on Satan.
Why it should be a film:
It's hard to believe that only two of Palahniuk's books have been turned into films, (the cult Fight Club and the underrated but enjoyable Choke) and the world could definitely use more of his creations popping up on the screen. Damned is as messed up as the other adaptations of his books, if not more so in fact - there's a scene where Maddy rips off a certain historical figure's moustache and then wears it as a medal - and the cinema has sorely been missing some Palahniuk mayhem for these past few years.
Who would star:
Maddy is supposed to be 13 and white, but let's be creative here - Gabourey Sidibe has proved from her turn in American Horror Story that she's adept at both being a bitch and dealing with the supernatural, so she'd be perfect.
Grace Barber-Plentie
